Weekly, newspapers in Alaska, Washington and Illinois publish Dr. Lynne Curry’s workplace business column. Monthly, magazines such as Carolina Business, Alaska Business Monthly, Podiatry Management and Construction Supervisor use her articles.

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Honesty plus tact is the most effective combination
By Dr. Lynne Curry

Q: I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.A lot goes on in my company that I want to comment on but don't. People are way too sensitive and so I'm forced to bite my tongue.

This morning I couldn't stop myself and at a staff meeting I let my supervisor have it. I didn't say anything other than the truth, but that was too much for her. After the meeting, she called me into her office and told me I needed to learn to be solution-oriented and positive rather than blaming and negative.

I said I got the point and I'd just keep my mouth shut. She said that wasn't what she wanted, that she was OK hearing my ideas but I need to give my opinions without slamming her or others. I told her I just called things as I saw them. She then gave me a short lecture on diplomacy. I said, "Okay, I'll just keep my mouth shut." Now, I'm afraid if I do say something, I could get fired.

A. If you were a pilot, would you fly directly into a box canyon wall? When you open your mouth and let it fly, you risk an equally predictable crash.

Stop copping out by describing the problem as others' sensitivities or the truth you tell. When you look in the mirror, if you see an individual who attacks others under the virtuous banner of honesty, admit your participation in this problem. Because the best communication requires full participation from the listener as well as the speaker, learn to say positively the same information you express negatively. After all, "Here's what I need from you to get this in by deadline" equals "You haven't given me what I need, and you'll be to blame if I miss the deadline."

You and your supervisor both gain if you learn to couple honesty with tact. She gains the value of your thinking and you won't have to keep biting your tongue -- or those around you.

Q. My best friend and business partner has a cocaine problem. My wife insists I handle this legally. She says, "Just call the cops on him, then hire an attorney and boot him out of your business."

I don't want to; he's my best friend and we have a great relationship. We've talked and he says he has it under control. I feel I owe it to him to give him the chance to handle this on his own but want to know how to protect my business from harm.

A. Stop enabling your partner to use illegal drugs. By hoping he'll fix this on his own, you collude with him and put him, yourself and your business at risk. In a legal sense, you may have two partners, your friend and his coke.

If your partner uses cocaine and his job involves handling equipment or people safely, making judgment calls or managing other areas of potential negligence, he puts himself, other people, your business and you at risk by using coke at work. If you suspect he abuses cocaine and you let him drive, make judgment calls, work around equipment or in situations needing full attention and concentration, you as well as your company assume liability for his actions.

In the workplace, cocaine abuse shows up in erratic, unpredictable performance and errors in judgment. Cocaine gives users a temporary energy burst and a physical and emotional "high." During their high, users often feel they can solve every problem and know more than anyone else. This can lead to arrogance, grandstanding and failing to listen to those around them. After a period of excitement and often manic activity, users generally experience fatigue, irritability, anxiety or depression. Because coke use makes users speedy and reckless, cocaine users have more accidents than others.

You can best support your friend by insisting he get help. Look in your phone book under "drug abuse" or call the national referral hotline 800-COCAINE or 800-662-HELP. Because his problem can easily become yours if he continues, you also need to decide when to draw the line if he doesn't.

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Lynne Curry is a local management trainer, consultant and syndicated columnist. Her advice and opinion column appears every other Monday. Questions for her column may be faxed to her at 258-2157 or mailed to her c/o Anchorage Daily News, P.O. Box 149001, Anchorage 99514-9001. Her e-mail is lynne@thegrowthcompany.com.

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