Question:
I’m a cut to the chase kind of guy and a hard worker. I work for a supervisor who’s soft on people and lets the “inmates run the asylum”. Every so often, out of frustration, I tell it like is. Then, although I’m the one in the right, my supervisor comes down on me and says I hurt someone’s feelings. Well, if so, then the truth hurts.

I try to tell him that other people take me the wrong way but I’ve now got a written letter in my file telling me that if I don’t clean up my act, I’ll be asked to leave. Given that I’m the only employee around here who works hard, I ought to just walk out and let everyone realize what they’ve done but I don’t want to lose my job.

How do I convince my supervisor that a) I’m the hardest worker around here, b) it’s other people who have the problem and c) he needs to have the guts to face what’s wrong and handle these situations instead of blaming the poor guy who gets the work done? Or do I just learn how to suck it up?

Answer:
It’s time for you to stop insisting that everyone else change so you can stay the same. Where did you get the idea you can say whatever you want to when you’re ticked off? What gives you the right to tell others “like it is” when you do so with contempt?

Here’s the cut to the chase message your “soft” supervisor just gave you – don’t make him chose between you and everyone else. Either you become a kinder, gentler Darth Vader or you lose your job.

You can do this without having to “suck it up” by realizing that while you clearly see everyone else’s mistakes you apparently turn a blind eye to your own shortcomings. So, imagine this – you’re working away on a project and someone who looks very much like you comes along and criticizes you to your face, perhaps even in front of others. Would you say “Oh, thank you” or feel insulted?

Next, how do you feel about individuals who think they’re better than everyone else? Do you like and admire them? Or do you think they need to stop reading their own press releases? Well, guess what, you’re one of those people and you’d see this if you’d stop pointing your finger long enough to look in the mirror.

Face facts -- if you supervised you, you would tell yourself to straighten up. You’d tell yourself you’re a smart and hard worker capable of great things who regularly sabotages his career by forgetting that other people have egos too.

If you want to convince your supervisor you’re a hard worker, start doing a good job at every aspect of your job, including the parts that involve working well with others. When you decide to point out another’s shortcoming, make sure you’ve spent equal time pointing out what others do right. When you see a problem, think before you speak and figure out how to say what you need to without insulting or attacking.

Don’t force your supervisor to chose between a hard worker and an employee capable of working well with his co-workers. Give your supervisor and yourself the best of all possible worlds – you as a good hard worker who can tell the truth without attack. You can’t be part of the solution when you make yourself part of the problem.