Articles

Firing a Bomb
by Dr. Lynne Curry

Question:
We fired a guy with a lousy attitude from our restaurant last week. We have a family friendly policy and this waiter tussled with two eight and ten year olds, shoving one kid into a chair and wrenching the other’s arm. His defense is that the parents had wandered into the bar part of the restaurant, leaving three little boys at the table and that the boys were standing on chairs and acting out.

He started to yell at me that we were paying him too little in wages to expect free babysitting and I cut him off. I told him no matter what his reason, we couldn’t employ a waiter who got physical with kids. He then really blew up and slammed his fist into a wall. As he left, he shouted that I hadn’t seen the last of him and to watch my back.

Yesterday, his older brother called. This brother worked for me two years ago and did a great job, which is why I initially hired "Mr. Attitude." He asked me to cut his brother some slack, saying he’d had a hard time, was a good guy and just needed a chance. He said his brother had a lead on a job driving bus but needed a local reference. He said he wasn’t asking me to hire his brother back, just to give him a short, positive letter of reference saying he’d worked for me, had done good work and I’d hire him back if I could. I’m tempted to do this because I’ve been nervous about this guy. What do you think?

Answer:
In short, the brother asked you to semi-lie on paper. Don’t lie unless you want to trade your fear of this man for the new risks you take on when you give a potential bully a reference letter.

When you give a false, positive reference to a future employer you assume some liability because the hiring employer relies on your phony assurances. In Randi W. vs. Livingston Union School District, the district hired an employee based on excellent references from three former employers who each failed to mention they’d dismissed the employee for sexual misconduct. When the employee molested a 13-year-old student, the student’s family sued the district and all three former employers. Court rulings found each former employer liable for misrepresentation and fraud. You fired this man for roughly handling kids. What happens if he hurts a child on the bus?

Next, do you want to commit, on paper, that you’ll hire the brother back? What happens if he reapplies and you hire someone else? If he belongs to a group of people protected against discrimination due to their race, ethnic background, age, sex, marital status, disability or other characteristics, your letter gives him ammunition to make a case that you illegally discriminate if he reapplies and you hire someone else.

Third, he and you know what he said to you. He told you to "watch your back" and you write him a positive letter of reference. When he sees that letter, he may think his brother works miracles. More likely, he will conclude you fear him. Do you want to give that power to a bully? If you genuinely fear this man, you owe it to yourself and your employees to buy stronger, longer-lasting "protection" by hiring a security guard and setting up extra precautions should this man return to your work site seeking revenge.

Finally, commit to never again losing self-control when firing an employee. No matter what your employee did, you would be better off today if you had treated him with dignity. When he told you you didn’t pay him enough to baby-sit, you should have listened and not cut him off. He had a point. Parents who expect a restaurant to control three boys while they sit in a bar can push any server’s buttons. Given this, perhaps what you owe this man is a brief apology and a day’s pay for not letting him say his piece.