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Guilt
and Morale
by Dr. Lynne
Curry
Question:
I lied to my manager and co-workers about something a co-worker
said to me. I lied because I thought this co-worker had shafted
me and I was mad. Then, I learned he hadn't done anything, it was
someone else but it was too late and I'd already made my co-workers
angry with him.
I feel guilty. Most of my co-workers really like me and consider
me the "centerpiece" of the office and automatically get
upset when someone takes advantage of me. I'm not sure what to do
now because I don't want to admit what I did.
Answer:
Guilt doesn't help you or your co-worker. If you want to fix things,
you need to travel past shame to action. Right now your full focus
appears to be on you - how you got hurt and now feel guilty yet
want to maintain your co-workers' respect. You need to take the
co-worker you hurt and the others you deceived into account and
decide what's more important to you, keeping your image intact or
making things right.
Question:
Everyone in our office has been under a strain lately with personal
life issues and concerns about the future of our company. Even though
we all like each other, we get on each other's nerves. Morale is
at an all-time low. I don't like going to work and I'm beginning
to think I should find a new job before I get completely bummed
out, but I like the people I work with.
Answer:
When you work with people you genuinely like, you work in a job
environment worth hanging on to. Also, if you leave your current
situation without trying to fix it, you may find you face a similar
predicament in your next job. Because negative moods prove contagious,
almost every workplace goes through periods in which several people
feel bummed out at the same time. If you stay a person who lets
others' moods drag you down, you leave yourself open to many depressing
days. Alternatively, if you learn how to renew your morale and possibly
that of others, you brighten your own future and become a person
others want to work next to.
If
you'd like to lift your morale, start with attitude honesty. How
much time do you spend thinking about what's right with your job
and in your company? Contrast that with the amount of time you spend
focused on what needs to improve and what you find difficult. If
you realize you pay more attention to what needs improving than
you give to noticing what's right, you're not alone. Almost anyone
reading "opportunityisnowhere" reads opportunity "is
no where" rather than "is now here." As human, we
tend to zero in on the negative.
Unfortunately,
unless we give equal time to considering what's right in our workplace,
our morale plummets. As an experiment, list five reasons you like
your current job and company. If this proves easy, list ten. Then
ask yourself if considering those ten raises your spirits. If it
does, commit to spending more time focused on what you enjoy and
what's working right. A positive focus doesn't mean you need to
pretend problems don't exist. They do. A positive focus simply gives
you more energy to address what needs improving.
Keeping
your morale high proves more difficult when you work around others
focused on the negative. In a group environment, one employee's
complaint often triggers another's and soon an entire team finds
themselves traveling south in morale. Avoiding this journey takes
effort. First, learn to listen and give empathy without feeling
a need to chime in with your own issues when one of your co-workers
erupts in exasperation over something minor. Second, if you can
act to improve others' moods, do so. Do you work alongside someone
who deserves a genuine compliment? Give her one. Have you considered
bringing in a treat to share in the coffee room? Food surprises
tend to brighten everyone's mood, particularly if you work with
a team whose hectic mornings and work schedules preclude breakfast
or lunch. Alternatively, perhaps you can suggest an occasional noon
potluck. When you work with others you genuinely like, simply getting
together with them, without a work agenda, can give you the morale
boost you need.
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