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Drving
Home In Tears
by Dr. Lynne
Curry
Question:
I often drive home from work in tears. My job is demanding and the
priorities change daily. The worst part of my job is that I'm expected
to multi-task on tasks I don't always completely understand but
I have to turn out work quickly or I get so behind I'll never catch
up. Also, I am a perfectionist and feel like no matter what I have
to turn out quality work, even when my supervisor and co-workers
give me the materials I'm supposed to put into final form late or
give me instructions that make sense at the time but don't make
sense later when I'm working on the project and they're out of the
office.
I'm
stressed out all the time. Just about everything I pick up takes
longer than anyone would expect and I'm always worried that my supervisor
thinks I am doing a bad job. He says I do a good job but I don't
know how he can say that when I know that I'm capable of so much
more and know the mistakes I'm making. Friday my boss asked me to
handle a "small project" and I just lost it and walked
out. I need help. My husband tells me nightly, "honey, get
an easier job." But this is the first job where I've been expected
to think and I don't want to leave it.
Answer:
If you don't want to leave this job, you need to change how you
handle it. With your boss, you need to stop assuming and start communicating.
You walked out Friday because your boss asked you to handle one
more project when you already felt overwhelmed. Clearly, you and
he see your capacity to take on more differently. You also appear
to live in fear he may one day realize you're not as good as he
now thinks.
Stop worrying and ask your boss to give you his honest opinion of
your work. If he says, "you do a good job," and you still
wonder what he really thinks ask, "what about my mistakes or
the fact I'm capable of more?" If he says, "we all make
mistakes," listen - and don't project your view that you need
to achieve perfection onto him.
Next,
tell him that you now operate at overcapacity and need training
in some of the projects currently assigned to you. If you let your
boss know how pushed you feel to turn out quality work even when
others give you materials late or confusing instructions, you give
him the chance to give you or others the guidance needed to improve
the situation. If you stay mum, you leave yourself drowning in a
situation that keeps you in tears.
Carry
your honestly further. Without being accusatory, let the supervisors
and co-workers know they place you in a difficult position when
they give you materials late. Ask that they give you a minimum of
two hours turn-around time on key projects. Further, ask them to
give you a way to reach them should you find, mid-way into their
projects, that you need additional instructions. In short, fix the
parts of your job that can change. When you talk with your supervisors
and co-workers, listen as well. If they tell you they don't expect
you to punt when you run into a situation you don't understand and
that they can accept good rather than perfect when you face a tight
deadline, hear what they say.
Finally,
at least part of this problem seems to be the way in which you handle
the work coming at you. Tasks don't come at us in the way we command,
they come at us in the way they come. If you expect to always know
ahead of time how to accomplish your tasks, expect your co-workers
and supervisors to always get you assignments well in advance or
expect perfection out of yourself on every project, you set yourself
up for failure or at the least disappointment. When you work in
an fast-paced environment in which the priorities regularly change,
you need to stop letting perfect get in the way of fast, good enough
and done.
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