|
Draw
a line between Work and Family
by Dr. Lynne
Curry
Question:
My
husband, brother and I run a small business that we purchased from
my parents two years ago. My husband is technically the business’s
president, however, he and brother each own equal shares of the
business. I run our company's sales division. Although my mother
says she "wants out of the business" she still owns ten
percent of the stock and thus acts as the swing vote on any
decisions on which my brother and husband disagree.
My brother grew
up in the business and feels angry that my brother is president
but he often tells the employees my husband is "president in
name only." My husband has a degree in business
administration and has markedly different viewpoints from my
brother on everything, particularly when it comes to spending
money. These differences are compounded by the fact that my
brother gets super defensive when disagreed with and that my
mother takes my brother’s side regardless of the issues. Our
problems are getting worse rather than better.
I think my
husband and I should resign our positions and sell our shares for
the sake of family harmony. Unfortunately, my brother can’t
afford to buy us out unless my mother chips in and she says she
won't. My mother says we should all just get along and acts as if
I should fix things. My husband feels committed to staying in the
business, says he won’t be run off, and that as president he
ought to be able to fire my brother for insubordination. He’s
seen an attorney and we’ve had horrible marital fights over the
situation. We need some advice.
Answer:
The four
of you need to begin spending as much energy on your business as
you now spend on fighting and wishing things were better. This
means your husband, brother and mother need to find a constructive
method for either working together or resolving the buy-out
question.
The next time
your mom gives you the impression you should "fix
things", let her know you've come up with a solution. Explain
that she has a chance to help your brother iron things out so
they're the way he wants them and so he won't have to fight with
your husband any more. Suggest that she and your brother hire a
neutral third party with business savvy and mediation skills to
sit down with your brother and husband to work out how they can
co-manage the business. Given that your mother now finds herself
in the middle of constant arguments, she may go for the idea.
Because your brother wants to be the "manager" he may
agree as well.
Meanwhile, you
and your husband need to neutralize your discussion over whether
to leave the business or not. In addition to discussing the
emotional reasons for staying or going – family harmony and
pride – you need to look at practical reality. Will your husband
be happier, richer and further ahead in his career five years from
now if he finds a new job or stays in a business in turmoil? Can
he ever expect your mother to take his side or will he always be
on the wrong side of a 45 to 55 split? If he wants to stay with
the business, could he buy your brother out?
Finally, this
matter may resolve itself -- the four of you may destroy your
business. When owners feud, they force employees to take sides or
run for cover, thus tearing the business apart and chasing off
employees who value a healthy work environment.
|
