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Lunch
with the Gang
by Dr. Lynne
Curry
Question:
Can my supervisor force me to eat lunch with my co-workers? I work
with five other women and am polite to them but don’t really
consider them friends. At lunch, they talk about their husbands
and since I’m the only unmarried employee, I feel left out of
things. Also, since I’m skinny and most of them aren’t, I have
to put up with comments that make me feel guilty like "Oh, I
wish I could eat that." They also ask me questions about my
personal life I consider intrusive. By the time lunch is over, I
feel like I’ve had way too much togetherness.
Apparently, some
of the others have complained to my supervisor that they’ve
"tried to include me" but I don’t make it possible and
he’s just had a little "attitude" meeting during which
he told me he expected me to eat with my co-workers at least once
a week. Is this legal? If I say "no" or just don’t do
what he’s asking, can he fire me? Frankly, it’s not worth
losing my job over this but I’d really rather not eat lunch with
the "gang."
Answer:
Unless your supervisor pays for your lunch hour, he can’t direct
your lunch activities.
You
might, however, decide to go to lunch with your co-workers
occasionally. When you get to know co-workers outside the regular
work environment, work interactions run more smoothly. If you
decide to try lunch with the "gang" again and don’t
want to spend so much time on the answer-giver "hot
seat", try asking one of the more talkative co-workers
questions before anyone ask can ask you any. You may even learn
your co-workers have more interests that you initially thought.
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