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Office
Cats and Bad Temper (Anchorage Version)
by Dr. Lynne
Curry
Question:
Our company party is this Friday. Is there any graceful way to get
out of attending it without appearing anti-social? I don't handle
alcohol well and there are a couple of ladies at the party who tend
to be catty. So I'd just as soon not be in a situation in which
I'd be tempted to explain to them where to get off. I thought maybe
if I called in sick I wouldn't have to go but I can't afford to
take a sick day just to dodge a party.
Answer:
You can tell your manager the truth, that you'd prefer to attend
for only a brief time or not at all. Or, you can go and have a good
time. When you let other's actions prevent you from normal activities,
you give them power over your life. Do you want to let a few individuals'
potential rudeness keep you from what might be a good party?
After
all, what's the worst these women can say or do to you? If they
excel at making caustic comments, spend some time this evening creating
a list of fast comebacks. An easy response to a rude comment is
to say, "Pardon me?" as if you can't believe what you
heard. Only a brave cat keeps sniping when a co-worker stands her
ground without losing her cool.
If
these cats instead close ranks and chat among themselves shutting
you out, simply move alongside someone more fun to talk to. If you
run out of good people to talk with, you can then leave the party
on your own terms and not because someone made you feel you didn't
belong. Finally, if you have problems with alcohol, either don't
drink or limit yourself to an amount you can easily handle, so you
won't be tempted to say something may later regret. You might even
ask your boss to provide sparkling cider as a safe alternative to
alcohol.
Question:
Yesterday, one of our employees almost came across the desk at a
supervisor when the supervisor asked what had been done with a customer's
order. This employee has a bad temper and reacts defensively whenever
he's questioned. It turned out the employee hadn't done what he
was supposed to and when the supervisor took over handling the order
the employee left the job site saying the supervisor had better
watch out.
This
morning, one of this employee's co-workers came in and said she'd
overheard him telling a second co-worker that he'd brought a gun
and planned to lay it on his work counter if the supervisor asked
him any more stupid questions. I called that co-worker in and she
verified the story and offered to "talk to him and calm him
down." Since she gets along well with him, I thought I'd have
her go talk to him and bring them both into my office along with
the supervisor. Or should I leave the supervisor out of it?
Answer:
Before you ask an employee to help handle a potentially dangerous
situation, you need to construct a contingency plan that protects
her and every other employee. From what you've said, you supervise
an employee doesn't appreciate being questioned and has a gun. How
do you think he'll view a situation in which his co-worker "friend"
brings him into a meeting with his supervisor's manager?
While
you need to act swiftly, you need answer to these questions first.
How will you handle it if this man brings his gun into your office?
What do you plan to do if he blasts out of your office, threatening
to return tomorrow and teach you and others a lesson? Do you have
the resources in your company to handle a potentially violent employee?
If
you're not sure what you'd do to keep yourself and your employees
safe should this situation erupt, contact the Anchorage Police Department
or a security firm and arrange to have a trained professional on
hand when you speak to this employee about his threats. According
Anchorage Police Department officials contacted this week, the department
wants to be contacted should an employer feel they have a situation
that might erupt into workplace violence.
Finally,
you may want to provide training to your supervisors and employees
on conflict resolution. Supervisors need to learn how to handle
challenging employees and how to spot trouble before it escalates
to the level of threats. Similarly, employees armed with good problem-solving
skills react less defensively to questions and are less likely to
resort to threats. Additionally, you can ask your attorney to help
you draft two policies, one related to harassment and intimidation
and the other prohibiting employees from bringing guns and other
weapons to work. You want to eliminate an environment in which employees
use threats as a problem-solving strategy.
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