Articles

Ratty Hair and Unofficial Monitors
by Dr. Lynne Curry

Question:
My co-worker smells and has ratty, unkempt hair and stained clothing. She apparently bathes daily but admits she gets back into bed when letting her hair dry. I don't know her financial situation, but know she makes a more than adequate salary and spends money on other things so I don't think her stained clothing is a money problem.
This morning the situation created a real problem because some of the guys were talking about the menstruation odor and I didn't know what to do. We've got clients coming in and out of our office on a regular basis and I have no clue what they think of the rest of us, given these odors. Help!

Answer:
Either you or your supervisor needs to speak to your co-worker in a helpful manner. After thirty years as a personnel troubleshooter, I've learned that individuals with hygiene problems often don't realize how they look or smell to others.

The conversation needs to be in private so you can minimize the embarrassment for your co-worker. I've often started off this type of discussion by saying that I'd like to bring up something hard to discuss and want to mention it only if the employee feels okay about my raising something not often discussed. Every employee I've said this to says, "Sure, what's this about?" Whenever you raise something personal at work it helps to give the other person a chance to say, "No, leave me alone."

Then, tell her you realize she probably hasn't noticed it, but she sometimes has a slight odor and you hoped you could let her know so she could fix the situation. If she asks for specifics, give them to her. If she turns red and says, "Okay," let her alone. If she comes in the next day, looking clean, say "Hi," as if you've never had the discussion. If she comes in looking as unkempt as before, consider bringing in a personnel troubleshooter to handle the situation.

Meanwhile, ask your supervisor to talk with the fellows in the office so the office gossip remains under control. Your co-worker needs honesty delivered in a one-on-one fashion and doesn't need to become the target for group discussion.

Question:
I recently changed my work hours because I have a son in kindergarten. This morning, I was running late since there was a lot of traffic and also because I stopped by the store to buy the office doughnuts. My co-worker is the only one who ever notices what time I come in and she looked at the clock and said, "running a little late are we?" I jokingly asked her if she was watching my time and she said she was told to do so by the payroll department.

This makes me furious. This particular co-worker arrives late regularly herself. There are days when everyone is looking for her and she hasn't even called in to say she'll be late. This inconveniences me because I have to cover her phones when she's late and this delays my own projects. So what right does she have to notice what I do? I especially resent not being trusted as an employee or an adult to put down the correct time on my time cards. Please advise.

Answer:
Almost all of us notice those who take small advantages. We see the co-workers who take the personal calls, who have time for office chitchat and who come a little late or leave a little early. We don't always see either our own indiscretions or the times those co-workers work a few minutes late to "make up for" their personal calls.
Most employers trust quality employees to accurately record their hours and give employees a small amount of leeway to work a few minutes late to make up for an occasional late arrival or personal call.

When an employer or payroll supervisor assigns one employee to watch another, it generally signals a problem. Although you don't know officially that you've been placed on a "watch" list, I'd urge you to schedule a private meeting with your supervisor and ask her if she has an issue with your on-time arrival. If she does, eliminate those mornings you run late due to traffic. If not, ask her if she can correct the other problem - the co-worker who takes it on herself to raise issues with your on-time arrival when her own record appears spotty.