Articles

Shell-shocked
by Dr. Lynne Curry

Question
My son's employer accused him of stealing. My son says he didn't steal but I'm not sure. His boss told him he had to admit what he did or quit. Because he quit, he can't get unemployment right away. As a result of this whole situation, my son says he's in shell shock and he can't go out and look for a job just yet and has asked if he can live with me rent-free for a month. I'm afraid he'll stay in the house and bury himself for months in Internet surfing as he did that before he got this job. Can you help my son and I out here?

Answer:
Start by making sure your son tells his Department of Labor representative the exact circumstances of his resigning. If he didn't steal and his employer said, "Admit you're a thief or quit," the employer left him no real option other than quitting. According to Alaska Department of Labor and Workforce Development officials, while every unemployed individual faces a one-week waiting period in each year, employees who resign jobs due to intolerable circumstances can often collect unemployment after that first week.

A similar situation recently went before the South Dakota Supreme Court. In that case, law enforcement officials and a grocery store manager accused a grocery store clerk of stealing an evening bank deposit that disappeared on her shift. The clerk maintained her innocence even when threatened with the loss of her children and a grand jury indictment. When the manager told the employee she needed to admit the theft or he didn't "ever want to see [her] face again," she walked out and filed for unemployment benefits.

The employer appealed her right to unemployment benefits, arguing the employee quit voluntarily. According to state's supreme court, the employee rightfully received benefits, given that the employer left the employee no option other than quitting.

Next, like many employees who lose their job suddenly, your son probably feels depressed, humiliated, guilty, numb, angry, scared, hurt, overwhelmed or all of the above. If he wants to navigate through these emotions quickly, he needs tell himself the truth even if he lied to his employer and to you. I'm not saying your son lied, simply that if he did he needs to own up to himself that he made a grave mistake and now pays the consequence. Many guilty employees take a detour from reality by pointing blame at everyone but themselves. As a result, they stay needlessly mired in the self-pity swamp.

If, however, his employer wrongfully accused him, he needs to tell himself a different truth – that life isn't always fair. When circumstances cast suspicion on an innocent employee, employers can and do make incorrect assumptions. If that happened, it leaves your son three choices. He can act to clear his record, he can decide that he won't let an unfair situation keep him down or he can remain shell-shocked.

If he decides he wants to clear his record and lacks money, he can call the Alaska Bar Association and find out the names of attorneys willing to work with pro bono clients. Alternatively, he may have access to attorneys through his church or other acquaintances you or he possess. If he lacks both finances and other resources, he can use his Internet surfing skills to locate feasible strategies. I spent ten minutes this afternoon searching askjeeves.com and google.com and got dozens of helpful ideas.

Finally, if your son wants to recover from shell shock, he can best do this by starting his job search. Let him know he needs to scan the classifieds and make at least five job-prospecting calls daily as a condition for living rent-fee. If he tells you he can't stand the potential rejection he fears from potential employers, tell him that the rejection he heaps on himself by telling himself he can't get a new job dwarfs the external rejection he might receive from an employer who doesn't know him. In short, challenge your son to face reality and move forward – for his sake and yours.